Thursday, November 23, 2006

A Retro-Posted Puzzler

Here is your Thursday Puzzler:

Anthony is hosting Thanksgiving this year. He invited his family (Amanda, Hunter, Megan, Julia, Jose, Matthew, Alexis, and David) to his house. His grandfather, his aunt, his brother, his grandmother, his father, his sister, his mother, and his uncle all had a great time at his house!Figure out how each person is related to Anthony and make a family tree.

In the afternoon, all of the men were watching football. Amanda, Alexis, Julia, and Megan were talking and not watching football.

1. Matthew is Anthony's father.
2. Hunter is Anthony's brother.
3. Julia has no children.
4. David is Matthew's father.
5. Alexis is Matthew's sister.
6. Hunter is Julia's brother.
7. Megan is not Anthony's grandmother.

Answer to last Thursday's Puzzler:

He should have said "three." The password referred to the number of letters in the number given.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Found it!

Here is the link to the comics page I mentioned earlier this week. Enjoy!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

A link, circuituitously from PZ

The people at The Bible Letter are asking Wal-Mart to remove an obsene and incendiary book from their shelves: the Bible. Too bad the Wal-Mart people will just think it's either 1) a joke, or 2) a personal attack on their freedom-lovin' Jesus-worshippin' good American values by long-haired pinko atheist al-Qaeda leftist secularist evolutionists. (Am I forgetting anything? Liberal humanists? Flag-burners? Draft-dodgers?)

Anyway, it's good for one of those snort-laughs--you know, when something's not funny ha-ha or limp-wrist funny-queer but yeah-right-that'll-be-the-day kind of funny.

Thursday Puzzler

Here's a puzzle for you. If I get some responses, maybe we'll make a full-fledged meme out of it.

A police detective is tracking known criminals in an attempt to locate their secret hideout. He follows two men to a warehouse. The first man approaches a door and presses a button next to the intercom. "Twleve," says a voice on the intercom. "Six," the suspect replies. The door swings open and he enters the building.

The second suspect approaches the door and presses the intercom button. "Six," comes the voice out of the speaker. "Three," replies the suspect. The door is unlocked, and he enters the warehouse.

"Oh, this is too easy," the detective says to himself. "It's almost as though these guys want to get caught."

With one hand ready on his gun, the detective leaves his hiding place and presses the intercom button. "Ten," says the speaker. "Five," the detective says in his best criminal voice.

Seconds later, the detective is surrounded by criminals who stand circling him, guns aimed at his head.

What should the detective have answered?

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

My new 'do

So I converted to Blogger Beta. You like? Ees very good, no? I was ready for something to do besides the lesson plans I really need to work on.

I brought you comics instead.

Yes, I am aware that for some reason, Blogger has chosen to remove the bottom sections of two of the comics. Yes, I tried uploading them again. I also tried exporting them from Picasa, but no luck there, either. Just get over it, will you?

Because I'm a bad and negligent person I have forgotten where I found these, but if I ever stumble across that site again, I'll be sure to give props and a link to the site. Promise. Please don't send the Copyright Police (C) after me!

Tyson and I actually do play this game. I wish for just thirty seconds at a time that I taught high-school English (chiefly grammar) so that I could use this to talk about how the placement of hypens is important. Somehow, I don't think it's appropriate for seventh grade.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Yes, yes, yes....

Whatever you're thinking, the answer is yes. Now isn't that a freeing idea? What I had in mind was something like "Am I a slacker?" or "Am I just writing tonight because Deidre did?" but really, why stop there. "Should I have ice cream for dinner?" "Why not skip laundry tonight?" or "Those dishes will still be there tomorrow, right?" all seem like perfectly acceptable questions for which the answer could conceivable be yes.

I don't have too much to say, but a couple of things came up that I thought I'd share before they got too stale.

First, for all of you who found the last week depressingly void of campaign ads, here's a link. Yeah, it's a week old today, and, given the AMAZING week we Dems (and Indies) have had, it seems like even longer. However, I know most of ya'll lead lives approximately as exciting as mine, so it's not like you don't have sixty seconds to check it out. Listen, don't read.

Second, I played soccer today for, like, the first time since fifth grade. The teachers played against the kids after school today (for Educator Appreciation Week--go figure). So I'm chasing the ball down the sideline and one of my seventh-graders mutters under his breath, "man, she's faster than me," and even though I was about to have a heart attack it was the best part of my day. Okay, we got beat 3-0, but, to be fair, the kids got to rotate out every five minutes until the last round, when 11 teachers had to defend against 25 kids. Plus, one of the deans accidentally kicked a kid in the crotch, which, because of my non-involvement in the situation, was quite hysterical (and satisfying).

Third, I saw Stranger than Fiction on Saturday, and I was super-impressed. Will Ferrell was strikingly believable in a straight role, and the existential factor never got too weird or self-conscious. Plus, Maggie Gyllenhaal was extra-cute as a liberal grassroots bakery owner (the bakery is called Uprising--get it?) with a great haircut and tattoos. Then there was Emma Thompson, looking an awful lot like Hugh Grant, and Queen Latifah. I don't care what ya'll say, Latifah is a great actress.

Fourth....hell, I don't remember what fourth was. I'm half-watching my giant projector TV, which, despite looking great and extending across six feet of my living room wall, is still filled with the same mediocre crap everyone else is watching on TV. I think it's making my brain melt.

Anyhow, my life is boring. Really, really boring. Link, soccer, movie, and you're pretty much caught up on everything since the last time I wrote.

Oh, wait. Deidre wanted to hear something domestic. I'm making white chili (chicken, white beans, and green chilies instead of the regular stuff), and it smells great.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Man, oh man

I hadn't realized I'd been almost as negligent as Deidre, but I guess I have been. Sorry 'bout that. (Is it weird to you that neglige, as in, the lacy little nightie, and negligent probably have the same root? It is to me, too. As soon as I get some things off my chest, I'll look it up in my OED. Yeah, that's right. There's an Oxford English Dictionary on my desk, and it kicks lexicographical ass. Just you wait.)
So anyways, I'll just take a cue from Deidre, and since I have probably three more devoted readers than she does, I can always pretend I came up with the idea first: a list. And using colons.
1. The first quarter ended last week. WOO HOO! That means there are only 29 more weeks of school left!
2. I am going to LA for my first-ever professional conference and we're staying at a seriously swank hotel called the Standard that is so hip, they write their name upside-down. And they project movies onto the side of the building next door and you can watch them from your balcony or from the rooftop bar. How cool is that?!
3. I bought a table saw and put it together myself. Then I used it to put new flooring down in about half my house. If the batteries in the digital camera were charged up, I'd take a picture, but it would take to long, and I'm really just writing this until the dryer dings so I can hang the clothes that will wrinkle if I don't do them right away and then I'm going to bed.
4. Ummm......I think those clothes are probably about done, and it's getting late (for me, anyway).

So, the negligent/neglige question. They both mean the same thing, we just stole the word for the undergarment from French. I guess because if all you're wearing is your negligee, then you must have neglected to put clothing on. Or something like that. It's a bit anticlimactic, really. I could tell you what year the French version crossed over into English usage, but the print is really, really, really tiny, and, anyway, I already closed it up and don't want to be bothered finding it again.

Besides, I have laundry to take care of.