I don't even know what to say.

Two polls going around FB today:

1. Do you think President Obama should be allowed to do a nationwide address to school children without their parents' consent?

2. Do you think President Obama should be allowed to address the nation's school children without a response from the opposition?

Right now, most respondents say "no" to both these questions.


Just who the hell ARE these people and what is wrong with them? The fucking PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES (you know, the one the MAJORITY of Americans voted into office last November) wants to go on TV and tell the kids to study hard and do well in school and people just go batshit crazy? Really? Viral emails are flying around encouraging parents to keep their kids home, or call their principals, or give Republicans a chance to present OPPOSITION? TO STUDYING HARD??

It's a good thing it's a three-day weekend or I might actually be stressing out over this.

UPDATE: Here is an (unnecessarily apologetic) email I just got:

________ School District Parents:

As you may know, President Barack Obama has announced he will give a special "back to school" message to children across America on September 8, 2009 beginning at 10 a.m. Mountain Standard Time.

We have been informed by the U.S. Department of Education that the text of the President's speech will be released on Monday, September 7, 24 hours prior to the broadcast. You may find the text of the speech on Monday at the following web sites:

www.whitehouse.gov/mediaresources

www.ed.gov

According to the U.S. Department of Education, the President will speak directly to the nation's children and youth about persisting and succeeding in school. The speech is expected to last 15-20 minutes and will air on CSPAN and online at www.whitehouse.gov/live/

If you would prefer your child(ren) not view the President's speech, you may contact your school to request your child(ren) opt-out of viewing the address. An appropriate alternative activity will be provided for your student until such time as the President's address concludes. You may opt-out by simply sending your school a note or email message.

Further information about the President's address may be found online at the following U.S. Department of Education web site:

www.edgov/print/admins/lead/academic/bts.html

My new health plan:

Don't get sick or in a car accident.

When I added my husband and son to my insurance a few years ago, my premiums went from about $75 a month to about $250 a month. So when Tyson started filling out paperwork for his new job and went to add me and his son to his policy, he realized it was going to cost nearly $800.

EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS A MONTH. That's nearly what we pay in rent. Shit. Just covering him and Nick is only going to run $140. So basically I'm out on my ass on this one. (Even if he had considered it, I would have asked for the $650 in cash every month instead and bought myself something nice.)

So today I've spent some time reviewing my other options for healthcare:

1. Go without, and hope for the best. I'm under thirty, in fairly good overall health. Odds are good I'll find a job with its own insurance in a few months. Tyson went without for like 30 years and still made it through okay. Plus, no insurance means I can go to the free clinic for my lady problems.
The major drawback to this plan is that pesky pre-existing conditions thing. Between the skin cancer, clinical depression, and history of frequent abnormal PAPs, I don't think I could get the care I needed when I got coverage again (and when I eventually need that hysterectomy, I don't want to be the one footing the bill).

2. COBRA. Because I voluntarily left my job, I don't qualify for reduced rates. Keeping my current level of benefits will cost about $650 a month, leaving us no better off than we were before. Or I can get an "at least I'm not fucked if I have to go to the hospital" plan with like a $3000 deductible for under a hundred bucks. Not really a lot of middle ground here.

3. Private short-term insurance. Depending on the deductible and co-payment involved (from 20% to a whopping SEVENTY PERCENT), I can get middling coverage for between $70 and $250 a month. Problem: The maximum length for this type of insurance is six months. I'm fairly confident of having an insurance-providing job by then, but the universe (and the economy) may have me waiting tables at Applebee's six months from now instead.

4. Private regular old insurance (AKA "Corporate Ass-Rape"). Basically for a lot of money I can have a shitty plan with a high deductible, with the option of continuing to pay the ridiculous premiums ad infinitum, if such is my desire.

I don't qualify for Medicare, I can't get insurance through my school, and, because I spent seven years as a liberal arts major, I have absolutely no skills that transfer to the non-school world, allowing me to get a good job in another field. Apparently, jobs in the field of sentence diagramming aren't required to provide benefits.

Being a grown-up sucks.

Dead Computer

The fan on my laptop stopped working, so the engine wouldn't even turn over.  Sorry, Target card, I missed that payment.  I couldn't get to my login information in time.  It would be no problem at all to move all of my settings to Tyson's computer with the miracle of Transfer Wizard or whatever Vista calls it, but my hard drive has been turned into a slave drive and I can't install the program.  And I didn't export my bookmarks before my computer died, so I'm having to find them again manually.

Ugh.  I think I'm done for a while today.

I hate things.

Today, I hate things.

Yesterday, I hated things.

I think the day before that, everything was OK, except my computer hated everything so I couldn't blog about it.

This isn't the end of the world, I just keep getting stuck staring at my feet.

Spartan vs. Athenian

So I flew out to my sister's in Rochester, New York, on Saturday, and, as usual when I am confronted with anyone still in college, I just started feeling...soft. When was the last time I learned anything? Wrote anything of consequence? Had a pointless, purely intellectual discussion? Bought an article of clothing ironically? Chatted up people in a public park (or any public place, for that matter)? She had a rehearsal from 9-11 (pm!) and then invited me to a party, and even though it would feel more like 8 or so my time, I still opted out and went to bed early.

Which gave me time to practice living alone in an urban apartment building. The best part was the absence of crap everywhere--no boxes of clothes and toys set out three months ago for a trip to Goodwill that never happened, no inch-thick layer of dust on every flat surface (woo-hoo, humidity!), no closetful of boxes labelled "high school" or "art supplies" or any of the other things I've held on to because I've only had to move them twice and hey, they're already in their own box!, no as-seen-on-TV fitness equipment shoved into forgotten corners, no pile of bills on the desk--and the romantic, high-school appeal of throwing some clothes and the dogs into my car and just driving away was definitely strong (with or without Tyson, Nick, or cats, depending on the different permutations of the fantasy).

The problem is that I really like my stuff. This morning, my achy shoulders and back definitely miss my 1.5 acres of memory-foam-topped Sleep Number bed. I've finally amassed a small army of good-quality kitchen appliances. We have more books than we have shelf space, even with three walls of the third bedroom devoted to bookcases. I have not one, not two, but three motorized forms of transportation (and 4 kayaks, in case an escape over water is necessary).

Anyway, this is getting pointless, and I need to bundle up to brave the snow in order to get pastries for breakfast.

I am tired.

School has been in session nearly four weeks now, and I am pretty exhausted.  I am usually there from 6 to 4, then I come home, usually with more school work in tow, and make dinner (sometimes), clean up (on some days), do laundry, or just sit on the couch and ignore everything until I go to bed sometime between 8:30 and 10.  (I'm usually quite proud of myself if I make it into double digits in the evening.)

So for everyone bugging me about not posting, fuck off.  

And for everyone else (especially parents and in-laws), kindly pardon my absence from cyberspace.  

Posting just feels like too much work after everything else.

P.S. Deidre: Happy Birthday.  Your phone must be broken, too.

God Dammit!

The Mountain Goats announced their fall tour schedule today.  Apparently, it's more worth their time to play a Halloween gig in Lubbock than to come to Vegas.  Ever.

More dismal budget news...

A few days ago, a message went out from my principal saying we'd hold off on ordering until August, when we were more sure what was going to happen with the budget.  I tried not to sweat it too much, even though there's about $15K worth of furniture and facilities for my program in the order queue.

Today the news is worse: our anticipated budget of $490,000 has been cut to $185,000.  That's for any new purchases for all of our clubs, organizations, programs, special ed, facilities and maintenance, athletics, and academic departments.  EVERYTHING but utilities and payroll, essentially.  So for now, no new books, no consumable supplies (looks like I'll be buying my own red pens and dry erase markers this year!), no nothing.  No word yet on what it means for my program.  It'll be a long year if I wind up with 4 sections of regular old English I and no compensation for the 150 or so hours of work I've done already.

My husband's boss makes more than that a year, and he DOESN'T have to run a school for 2200 kids out of his own pocket.

Budget Cuts!

I started the morning today with a somewhat dismaying message via school email from our superintendent RE: state budget cuts: 


DATE: June 24, 2008
TO: All Employees
FROM: Walt Rulffes
SUBJECT: Status of State Budget Cuts

Many people have contacted me asking the status of how CCSD will handle the increasing State budget cuts. An answer I gave that was accurate last week needs to be revised this week as the picture continues to change. If you are observing media reports, then you are likely as current as I am regarding the amount of State reductions in revenue. The purpose of this memo is to bring you up to date regarding how CCSD is affected, which most likely will change as State conditions change.

The school district has no authority to unilaterally increase its revenue. Federal funds and bond funds are legally restricted in use and must be spent specifically as designated. The day-to-day operations of the school district are funded from its general fund, which is controlled by the State.

I won’t discuss herein the initial cuts that have already been made, as that information has been provided elsewhere and is not germane for this discussion. Of importance now is how does the district deal with more major reductions in its funding?

Here’s the gloomy background. The latest State projected additional revenue shortfall, after more than $900 million has already been cut, is identified below:
 $250 million or more for the fiscal year beginning July 1, 2008; and $1.2 billion for the next biennium, which is the 2009-2010 and 2010-2011 school years.

The big question is, “How much will CCSD’s share of the shortfall be?” I wish I knew, but since public education as a whole makes up half the State’s budget, it’s a fair assumption that CCSD’s hit could be as follows:
 Another $50 to 70 million for 2008-2009 school year; and Another $135 million for the 2009-2010 school year.

Against this background, here’s my prognosis for how funding reductions will translate to CCSD.

Q: What about the 4% employee COLA the Legislature included in its original funding?

A: The District and Unions followed the provisions of collective bargaining and put the 4% COLA into contract agreements. The Support Staff Union contract was ratified by Support members and approved by the School Board. The CCEA and the CCASAPE contracts have been ratified by their respective members and are scheduled for School Board action on
June 26, 2008. My recommendation is to approve the contracts.

Q: What about all the talk of taking the COLA’s to offset the State shortfall?

A: Here’s why I am recommending to the Board to approve the contracts. First and foremost, you deserve it. I don't know how we can expect our employees to absorb the increased cost of living, e.g., gasoline, food, and in the case of teachers – health care. There are about 7,000 employees who are not eligible for a step-increase, and the 4% is their only improvement. The support staff contract has been signed, sealed, and delivered, as well as the employee contracts in most other school districts throughout the State. I do not see how school districts can legally breach contract agreements, and CCSD’s staff deserves equal treatment to that of other school districts in regard to the COLA.
There’s more. While this has not been widely recognized, if the District/CCEA contract agreement is not approved, the new program for the retired teacher health plan falls through the crack, leaving future teacher retirees without a reasonable medical plan.

Q: So what’s the consequence of the cuts?

A: Well, hopefully the State will minimize cuts to public education with other alternatives – to which I am not privy at this time. I know that there are legislators and others who are seeking options to avoid further cuts in essential State services. Examples include the proposed 3% room tax, Terry Lanni's proposal to add an increase in the payroll tax to the mix, and borrowing against future revenues such as the Tobacco fund.

Q: If further cuts are necessary, what’s at risk in CCSD?

A: This is the tough part. We will be forced to cut the central, regional, and school administrative services where we can, as well as support functions. The Budget Department has already told central administrators to submit 6% cuts in their budgets. Out-of-state travel requests, contract and consulting services, and capital purchases from the general fund will require approval of the Budget Department. The Human Resources Division (HR) has placed a hold on certain categories of hiring, not only because of the budget cuts that are looming, but also because enrollment growth has dramatically slowed. Expenditures from the SB 185 funds, which are the school improvement grants, have been put on hold. SB 185 funds will likely be withheld by the State. Also, remember the District is facing unfunded inflation (as in fuel) and added costs (as in 7 new school openings). Some relief could be possible if a fee is imposed for certain services, e.g. transportation and non-academic activities, but it will be very unpopular.
The big dollars will have to come from where big expenditures are occurring. HR is holding many classroom vacancies open until more is learned from the State because those vacancies will likely be needed to absorb teachers who are currently assigned to non-classroom functions. In an earlier message, it was estimated that the projected reduction in CCSD revenue is the equivalent of an estimated 2,000 positions. Nothing has changed to reduce that estimate.

Q: What’s the timing of all this?

A: Timing depends on the State. At the time of this writing, the Legislature is scheduled for a special session to begin on June 27, 2008. If that occurs, or if a resolution is worked out prior instead of having a special session, we should know before July 1, 2008, what the fiscal impact will be on the upcoming school year. At this point, the bulk of what I am hearing centers around "cuts" rather than finding new revenues to make up the difference.

Q: What's the prognosis for the budget we're submitting for the next biennium?

A: We have been directed by the Nevada Department of Education to submit $133 million in cuts for the next biennium in September of 2008, which takes effect for July 1, 2009, assuming it’s approved by the Legislature. While we are complying with this request, it is important to remember that the level of funding for education and the opportunity to provide new revenue sources will certainly be a major topic of the 2009 legislative session, and I hope you will join me in working to find alternatives to the devastation this level of cuts would produce.

---

God forbid our governor raise taxes on local folks to, you know, learn their kids to read.  I'm really REALLY glad our weak excuse for a union (an "association," actually, as if that explains the inefficacy of most of their presence in Carson City) bundled the cost of living increase in with provisions for retiree health benefits.  At this time last year, when it was unclear whether retirees after 2008 would, in fact, be eligible for insurance coverage, we were projecting something like 5000 people to retire this year, and I just don't think the state wants to have to deal with it's largest county's teachers not getting salary increases AND needing to hire 5000 more new teachers.

What I find most worrisome is that it looks like the area that'll be taking the biggest hit is research.  Ruffles mentions curtailing expenses for "consultants" and SB 185 funds, and it's that money that A) brings new research into the district and B) disseminates it to teachers--new teachers in most cases.  SB 185 money is designated "School Improvement" money--we all write a school improvement plan each year, and these funds help schools achieve their goals, generally in the area of subgroups passing the Big Tests.  Schools with a pattern of not making AYP get extra help, such as mentors and money to pay teachers to go to conferences, and to pay other teachers to come to site-based trainings to hear what the other people learned at their conferences so that everybody can stay up on current research. 

Yes, we could probably limit some of the "consultant" spending because I've seen some of the people and research the district brings in, and a lot of it is redundant and I'm sure some of it is pretty screwy.  On the other hand, Harry Wong spoke at one of the new teacher conferences I went to, and all teachers got treated to a presentation by Ron Clark one staff development day last year, and I found both of those experiences valuable.  And it was SB 185 funds that paid for the two full-time mentors I had at the middle school in Northtown, where I learned enough in a year and a half to be a project leader next year and my administrator's nominee for Teacher of the Year.

Maybe it's not all bad.  Because our district is so huge (fifth largest in the nation), reducing the amount spent on research consultants means going back to tried and true practices and GIVING THEM TIME TO WORK before jumping straight onto the next bandwagon when we don't see immediate results.  Cutting funds in these areas will allow our district to function reasonably well for next year, even two or three more years, but I don't want to be around here in another 10 when we're really feeling the effects of allowing our district's current research-based practices to stagnate.  Once the state sees that we can do without this budget money, the odds of us getting it back are slim, and funding will probably never be back to the level it is now.  I also think we'll see much lower retention rates for new teachers because it is primarily them that the SB 185 money helps.  Most of our new hires are locked in to jobs veteran teachers don't want, and without a support system present, I can imagine many of them looking at their measly $34K salary and wondering if it's really worth it.  And there's not much of an incentive for veteran teachers, especially those approaching retirement, to pass on their expertise or to continue to develop their own practices.

So anyway, we'll see how this goes.  I've been fortunate this summer in that my principal is highly committed to my program and finding the money to get it off the ground.  She submitted my entire list of facilities requests, about $18,000 total, to the banker without striking anything, quibbling about costs, or even questioning any of the items we asked for.  Nothing can get paid for until the July 1, but so far, my stuff's first in line.  It's not district budget problems that affect me, I just need to make sure I keep the same principal forever.

If I were in charge of things around here...

I was looking forward to this post over at Daily Kos, and I got to thinking about what other pie in the sky ideas might make America even better. Because I'm just coming off three days of late nights with friends who are in town, I can't exactly remember what my ideas were, exactly, but I had some.

What are your "so crazy they just might work" plans?

Off the couch, and out of the bathroom

You can tell just how unexciting my travel-free summer has been so far as soon as we start diving into the subject matter of today's post:

A bladder infection!!!

Yes, the biggest, most interesting thing to happen since I last posted was that I spent a total of about three hours in the can today, and about six more sitting at my computer or on the couch furiously jiggling my knee and repeating "I will not wet my pants I will not wet my pants."

It was seriously the worst one of these I have ever had.  You should have seen the chunks of bladder-flesh that left my body today.  But, thanks to the miracle in a box that is phenazopyridine hydrochloride, I actually sat through a whole movie without a trip to the bathroom (plus, my pee is a psychedelic red-orange--fun, huh?).

So I haven't actually left the house since Friday, and I am looking forward to getting up early and dashing up to school to get some stuff to work on while we host a national debate tournament and I'll be toiling away off-campus all week, although I freely admit the reason I didn't go anywhere yesterday was that I just felt like being a total scrub, not that I couldn't risk being 30 seconds from a bathroom.

I hope everyone else is finishing up a much more productive (and less painful in the pants area) weekend.  Happy Fathers' Day to my dad, Tyson, Bob, John, Brannon, J, DBB, Michael, and anyone else I've forgotten!

It's the end of an era.

It makes me really sad that Americans' God-given right to throwing camping gear in the trunk and driving aimlessly around the country for days on end seems to be over.

Not that it's been very economical for two or so years now, but 4 dollars a gallon? Now the low-budget road-trip is a dying institution.

Tyson's been on shaving strike since school got out until he catches fish. He got as far as laying all the camping and fishing gear out in the living room, packing some of it in the motorcycle saddlebags, and, well, that was it. The official reason for the delay of tonight's scheduled departure to California's southern Sierra is the wind, which on our smallish bike in the middle of the night is certainly a legitimate concern. In a frenzied fit of cabin fever, he even proposed both of us taking the van. Consider the horrendous fuel economy (about 10MPG lately) and the fact that the a/c isn't working, and you'll see just how desperate we are to even entertain the notion of a road trip.

One of the best things about living in Vegas is the sheer variety of outdoor stuff within just a few hours--from the beach, to Baja, to the Sierras, to the Colorado Plateau, to the Grand Canyon, to great fishing and hiking and kayaking and climbing. Let's face it: Vegas is not the most interesting place to actually be if you're not a tourist, club whore, or rich. The huge appeal (besides not ever having to wear more than a jacket over a t-shirt in the winter) is in going somewhere else.

I can remember waking up one Saturday morning in the early fall having just gotten over a nasty, lingering cold. On an impulse, we threw all our crap in the Matrix and went west and north about 4 hours to the Alta Toquima wilderness. We hiked around through yellow aspens, and it was so nice to feel like I was finally over that cold. But the water was low and the fishing was not great, and it was still way too light out to set up camp and sit around until 11, so we drove about 4 more hours back east, making a big zig-zag across the lower half of the state to get to the Snake Range and Great Basin National Park, where we camped out and in the morning were practically assaulted by gangs of deer who just marched through our morning coffee and oatmeal. We hiked up to a bristlecone grove, then drove back home, stopping to look over to top of Cathedral Gorge and again for dinner at the old Caliente train depot.

All said and done, we drove about 800 miles in 36 hours, just to get out of our house. Driving the van right now, that's 80 gallons of gas, or $320. That's just not the kind of money regular people can afford to pay for no good reason.

But for people like me and many others in the West, there is a perfectly good reason to take trips like that. One of the reasons we moved out here was to explore and enjoy this relatively wild and empty part of the country. Impractical? Yes. Romantic? Definitely. Yes, I realize how whiny I sound, getting all bent out of shape about not being able to drive aimlessly all over the place. I know that my attitude is probably representative of stereotypes of American hubris and entitlement. But dammit, I'm done working for 10 weeks, and I want to go hiking in the mountains because it's 105 outside and it hurts my skin to stand in the sun for more than two minutes.

So anyway, we're about sick of dealing with the Matrix. We're waiting for a phone call from Toyota corporate tomorrow to find out if they're willing to help out with the $4000 engine replacement, but are not very hopeful. I think going about 14 months without an oil change is not going to help us out there. Our new Plan B is to trade the Matrix, and quite possibly also the van, for the smallest, cheapest, most fuel-efficient, best-warranty-having hatchback we can get (a Kia Rio5 or Spectra is looking good) and paying it off as fast as possible for approximately what we're paying now. Then, when that's paid off in about 3 years, we can get the natural-gas-powered Civic we really want. If we get things squared away in the next week, we can probably make it to the Sierras before Tyson has to be back for jury duty and I have to watch our neighbor's dogs.

One of those days...

First, let me say that I am just plain exhausted. I have been working very hard to stave off the nasty germs all the kids insist on bringing to school, and so far I have not gotten really sick, but not succumbing to the stuff going around takes about as much out of me sometimes as just being sick and getting it over with.

I was already feeling worn-thin before my day even started today.
It hit me at lunch today that I am tired of being a teacher and should find another job, but before you panic (especially you, Mom, and you, husband), the feeling will probably pass when I get some more sleep. We're starting to plan a master schedule for next year, and the state has said "you need to do something about freshmen" which we already knew; we just got statistics on where our current 9th graders came from: most from a feeder campus, and the next largest group is actually flunkies from last year who didn't have enough credits to get promoted. So the state says "do freshman academies," meaning, have facilities and instructors that just exist to teach freshmen, use teaming strategies to keep kids from falling through the cracks, have smaller classes, etc, etc, but nobody's ponied up with the money or even a working model for schools to go by. It sounds like they need to move 9th grade back to junior high and 6th grade back to elementary school, if you ask me. Trying to implement middle-school best practices for only 1/4 of the students in a high school seems like a too-complicated way to do something that really shouldn't be all that difficult. As a result, of course there's been all kinds of grousing around the lunch table lately, and people are in bad moods, but it just struck me today that I am surrounded by a bunch of people who don't really give a shit about kids, in the middle of a giant system that isn't exactly geared toward helping kids all that much in the first place. Not in a practical sense, at least.

So then I make it back to my room, and there's this really snarky email from a parent saying her kid told her he'd used a homework pass on this one assignment, but the grade report still showed it was a zero, and like demanding an explanation from me. Ok, I understand that first reactionary flare-up of "whose fault is this somebody please explain," but there are like ways of politely stating that idea that don't sound like I am your personal education slave-robot. THEN on the staff bulletin board area of the mail system there's been all this dumb high-school-style drama going on about politics and people's personal soapboxes, and apparently somebody said something negative about cheerleaders' behavior, and somebody went and printed it up for parents, or students, or something, and then there were hordes of bitchy people involved, and it made me think "for 36K a year, I totally don't need all this." Not when I could go to night school and learn to run an ultrasound machine or something, or learn to fix air conditioners or even be a mail-delivery-person.

I'm sure I just have absolutely no perspective whatsoever today, since I've been sleeping badly (waking up, startled, every hour or so) and not feeling so great. It's just been one of those days I want to throw up my hands and yell "whatever. I'm done," you know?

Whole Bunch of Crap

While Whole Foods definitely appealed to some of my more romantic, white-privelege impulses, I don't think I'll be switching grocery stores anytime soon. (At least until the Fresh and Easy opens up down on Boulder Highway by the KMart.) Here are some of the several conundra I faced:

Pro: Pick out a vegetable, and they'll grill it up for you. Right then. While you are watching and feeling all smug about it.

Con: $6 a gallon for milk.

Pro: Two words: bulk bins.

Con: Many bulk bins full of food items I can't even identify, a source of culinary guilt (or, at the very least, minor discomfort).

Pro: Sliced-to-order barbecue brisket and tri-tip.

Con: $8.99 a pound for chicken breasts.

Pro: Approximately 11,078 types, varieties, and sizes of honey.

Con: Hot cocoa mix?

Pro: Reasonable selection of environmentally-friendly laundry detergents.

Con: Too many hippie-yuppies in store and parking lot.

Pro: Fresh-ground honey-roasted-peanut butter (AKA Crack on Toast).

Con: Employees too fresh-faced and innocent-looking.

All said and done, I think it would cost me about $50 to $70 more a week to buy my groceries there, if I could even count on finding everything I needed and not having to mentally reorganize my grocery list when I couldn't. So anyway, now I am working in my head on a worksheet I could carry around to a grocery store to see if I wanted to shop there. It would have a lot of items I buy often to make the things we like to eat, and I could wander around and just fill in the blanks. I am so not kidding about this, guys. I would really design and print a grocery store worksheet and go practice shopping at all kinds of stores to find the best one.

Maybe I should reinstall Sims on my computer? Or just stop making excuses to get out of reading Great Expectations.

F*cking Dickens

Not the quaintly old-fashioned expletive, the author.

After 3 months, I finally finished reading Crime and Punishment and have vowed never to make that mistake again. It was itself a punishing experience. So I took a quick break and read Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking in two or three sittings, and since I have to actually teach Great Expectations in a few weeks, I figured I'd give it another go and attempt to actually read it beforehand. Well, it's still dumb.

Sorry, Dickens fans, but if he were a person, he'd be the guy at the coffee shop who comes over and talks to you and won't go away, and you pretend to be interested for a while just to be polite, and then you start to look around and make sure no one you know is eavesdropping on this conversation and thinks you actually want to talk to this goober.

The Story of a Half-Hour

So the new couch ate the mouse for Tyson's laptop. Either that, or he was just too lazy to really look for it. While I was at school doing my tutoring thing, he borrowed mine from my laptop.

When I got home, I rolled my eyes in consternation that my borrowed mouse had not been put back (what was I expecting, though, really?), and plugged it back in to the jury-rigged USB-port card thing that I use ever since my motherboard fried the ports in the back of the computer.

To my continued frustration, the laser light went on, but the pointer failed to move on my screen. I tried unplugging/replugging both the mouse and the port-card itself, then closing and opening the lid to get hibernate mode to trick the mouse into working, then I tried all the choice swear words that have served me in the past, but it still wouldn't work.

Then I had the great idea that this was probably the opportunity I'd been waiting for to get a new computer! Ever since the first mention of Windows Vista, I've been wanting to go Mac, 'cause, you know, screw Windows. Give me drag-and-drop image manipulation, and I can live with relearning an entire operating system.

I came down off my euphoric potential-new-computer high long enough to try restarting my computer, the only thing that has been getting these weird kinks out, lately. And, sure enough, its "working" fine again. (Those are ironic quote marks, by the way.) Too bad. I was all about to get on the other computer and start shopping for a new system.

(Do I need to mention there are extra-credit points for identifying the allusive title?)

Gak!

Okay, so I am poking my head in here really, really quickly. You should be reading this post in a high-pitched, manic voice because I have like 5 minutes of free time today.

Why, you ask? Well, let me tell you:

thejuniorshavecrucibleoutlinesduetomorrowandthefreshmenturnedtheiressaysintoday andimstillbehindongradingfromlastweekandneedtocatchupdidimentionthatmyjuniorshave morethan40assignmentssofarthisquarter? insteadofthesmarter(andmoreboring)choiceofworkingallweekendweallwenttocaliforniainsteadwhereitwascoldandtheboysgot somefishbutthatmeanttodaytherewasallkindsofstufftodo
thenigotalovelynotefromastudent-parentsayingtheyhad "moralissues"withtheessaypromptandthereforeshehad"excused"herselffromtheassignment sotherewasthatdramaandididntreallyknowwhattodoaboutitbesidesstew

whew

iwassupposedtostarttutoringforproficiencyexamstodaybuttherewasnoannouncementsandno flyersandnoplansoranything(thatonesmyfault)soanywaybut thatmeansihavetokicksomebuttbeforewednesday
soiamheretakingaquickbreakbecauseimfeelingguiltyaboutalsonotbloggingbutthereislaundry readytocomeoutofthedryerandahandouttomakeforact3ofthecrucibleandineedtomakeagrading sheetfortheoutlinesthataredueandifidontgetsomeofitdoneithinkmybrainwillexplode.

So there's that. Hope your weeks are starting out manageably because I seem to be stressed enough for everyone already.

boring, boring, boring, BORING

I am so, so glad to have only 3 days left until Tyson gets home. I am so bored, I don't even know what to do with myself. And it doesn't help that Tyson is off in Zermatt, at the base of the Matterhorn, skiing and paragliding and eating gruyere fondue with curried pineapple.

Today I cleaned the living room, organized the various audio and video components, moved some furniture, and bought a nice lamp that actually matches things (not that your purple-and-red lava lamp wasn't neat, honey, it just didn't go), and now I am still bored. What I really want is a magic wand to move the computer desk, tear up the carpet, pry up the tack strip, use the angle grinder to get rid of the floor nails, vacuum up all the dirt, and teleport the 6 boxes of laminate flooring I need here from San Diego. (They could have done it in that Harry Potter movie I saw last week.) Then I could spend tomorrow playing with my table saw and putting down floors, which is actually pretty fun. Then I wouldn't be so bored.

Ugh. It is a good time I think for a nap.

"Tyson Luck" Stays at Home and Wreaks Havoc There, Too

God dammit.

Okay, it's not like I didn't have internet access regularly during my trip. Ask Tyson; we've been IMing every day. But that new camera I bought is getting more contrary by the day. On Sunday, it decided it was going to keep all the pictures for itself, and not share any with my computer. Monday, it decided to consume batteries at the rate of 4 per day, and still have the nerve to display "battery low", and with an aggravatingly passive-aggressive-sounding beep, shut down. Then yesterday, in the very presence of the oldest f*cking trees on the planet, it decided it didn't take pictures anymore, either, and started shutting down every time I pressed the button to get a shot.

Most everything else went fine, and as soon as I liberate my pics from the memory card, I will tell you all about them. But we're talking about Tyson Luck today.

So I got home last night just after dark, only to find an orange door tag from the water company. I'll get to the details of that later, but there were a few other unpleasant discoveries when I arrived home: my dog had had a bout of explosive diarrhea inside the house, and whatever was in the trash can stank to high heaven (turns out it was bunny litter and raw chicken--eew!)

I thought briefly about going to the gym to take a shower, but it frankly seemed like too much effort, and the one time I tried taking a shower there, it was shockingly cold. They have those faucets that you have to turn from off to cold to hot, and there's nowhere to step out of the way of the water while it warms up. And also, I didn't feel like being naked and dirty in a public place, and then having to go home and sleep on dirty sheets that I couldn't wash until the water got turned back on anyway.

I went to bed, and about 3:00, the Diarrhea Dog started whining, just a little, about every 8 minutes, until I let him out. Fifteen minutes later, one of the cats cornered a mouse in the bathroom and was yowling at me to come check him out. As I walked into the hallway, he chased the mouse right over my bare foot and into the bedroom. We tried to catch him, but the cat couldn't understand that he and I needed to be on opposite sides of the crack in the door, so the mouse got away.

At 4:30, about the time I was good and asleep again, the dogs wanted in. Insistently. As though there was some dog-monster chasing them. When I went to let them in, though, they were all wagging tails and dumb "let's go play" smiles.

At 4:50, I had to chase my gray cat all over the house because she wouldn't stop clawing at the side of my bed. Shortly after that, the Mouse-Chaser decided to groom my hair and claw all over my sunburned shoulders. (Not very sunburned! Don't worry!)

I finally, finally was getting some good sleep when the alarm went off at 7:25, reminding me to call the water people first thing, so hopefully they would turn my water back on first. The door tag last night said a $75 check had been returned, but when I checked my bank balance online, there hadn't been a time where I had less than than in my account, so I had no idea why the check had bounced. When I called this morning, all the information they could give me was that it was returned because the account it was written on had been closed.

Shit, I thought, and ran through a mental inventory of all the other checks that might possibly be out there somewhere, chiefly the rent check that our landlord (and Tyson's boss!) keeps in his wallet for weeks, then cashes on a whim.

I tried calling the bank, but kept getting a busy signal. Then I realized that if it was anybody's fault, it was the bank's, and I'd better just pay and have my water turned back on. There was a $25 returned check fee, plus a $20 service reinstatement fee, and the woman on the phone was all like, "if you can't afford it today, I can put the twenty-dollar charge on your next bill" in this sweet, patronizing voice. Ugh, I wanted to scream, but instead was almost in tears from the overpowering sense of victimization I felt, and managed to hold my voice steady while I read off my account number to her.

I finally got through to someone at the bank, but, as she could only access my account history for the last 10 transactions, she was no help at all. She took down the information, and my phone number, and said someone would call me back. What I really hope is that, when they call, I can muster up the spine to tell them they need to pay the $45 it cost me to have my water turned back on, rather than my normal pattern of just saying "thank you," as though, by bouncing my check they had done me a favor.

Anyway, all this is compounded by the fact that I am sticky with dirt and leftover sweat, I have no clean clothes or sheets, a poop-smeared dog kennel, but no water in the hose to clean it with, which means scrubbing later today, no more bonus toilet flushes, even though my stomach is starting to gurgle, and a houseful of pets who are snoozing peacefully, saving their energy for another bout of restlessness early tomorrow morning.

I wonder how long it would take to pack up my car again and get out of town?

I rescind my last post.

I just returned from the movie theatre, where I enjoyed another lovely afternoon all by myself watching Michael Moore's new film, Sicko. I agree with many of the reviews I read in that it seems like Moore has gotten away from a more journalistic style, but I think its effect was (or could be, or won't be, depending on your particular political bent) dramatic.

I am inches away from getting those packing boxes ready.

It would be so easy. Tyson's already in Switzerland, working. I could just eBay everything and come, too.

If Switzerland shared France's healthcare system, I would be there in a minute.

But, returning to Planet Earth, where I am in debt, have no passport, have 2 dogs, 2 cats, a bunny, a gecko, a tortoise, a turtle, and a snake to think about, not to mention an impending teenager, almost 3 more years on my lease, and no real concept of how one secures a job abroad, let alone completes permanent-residence status paperwork....and I begin to understand how the only people who can really afford the luxury of up and moving somewhere else are, well, people who can afford it, and people in their early 20s with no money, nothing to keep them in place, and without the sense to know any better.

Well, cheers to them. Maybe the rest of us can work on changing what we've got here.

And my that, I mean looking for jobs in Canada.