Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Whole Bunch of Crap

While Whole Foods definitely appealed to some of my more romantic, white-privelege impulses, I don't think I'll be switching grocery stores anytime soon. (At least until the Fresh and Easy opens up down on Boulder Highway by the KMart.) Here are some of the several conundra I faced:

Pro: Pick out a vegetable, and they'll grill it up for you. Right then. While you are watching and feeling all smug about it.

Con: $6 a gallon for milk.

Pro: Two words: bulk bins.

Con: Many bulk bins full of food items I can't even identify, a source of culinary guilt (or, at the very least, minor discomfort).

Pro: Sliced-to-order barbecue brisket and tri-tip.

Con: $8.99 a pound for chicken breasts.

Pro: Approximately 11,078 types, varieties, and sizes of honey.

Con: Hot cocoa mix?

Pro: Reasonable selection of environmentally-friendly laundry detergents.

Con: Too many hippie-yuppies in store and parking lot.

Pro: Fresh-ground honey-roasted-peanut butter (AKA Crack on Toast).

Con: Employees too fresh-faced and innocent-looking.

All said and done, I think it would cost me about $50 to $70 more a week to buy my groceries there, if I could even count on finding everything I needed and not having to mentally reorganize my grocery list when I couldn't. So anyway, now I am working in my head on a worksheet I could carry around to a grocery store to see if I wanted to shop there. It would have a lot of items I buy often to make the things we like to eat, and I could wander around and just fill in the blanks. I am so not kidding about this, guys. I would really design and print a grocery store worksheet and go practice shopping at all kinds of stores to find the best one.

Maybe I should reinstall Sims on my computer? Or just stop making excuses to get out of reading Great Expectations.


Michael Mayer said...

Don't get me started on how much I FUCKING HATE Whole Foods. It's so ridiculous here. It's a whole "scene", that trip to Whole Foods. What I really want to do is stand outside of Whole Foods and scream in the face of everyone who walks in there, "IT'S JUST A FUCKING GROCERY STORE".

Just driving by it sets me off ( and I'm pretty sure Jen is tired of hearing me rant about it. )






Thanks, I feel better.

Elaine said...

I know how you feel, Erin. Before I had added an extra 40+ hours to my work week, i.e. got a job, and was a content little house wife, I went to three grocery stores. As you know, Devyn is just less sickly if he get mostly organic. I used to have to go to Central Market to get all of those items. Then, the regular HEB for normal stuff. And finally, Sams for the things I could buy in bulk cheaper so I could recoup some of the money I spent at Central Market. Thankfully, HEB is providing more organic choices, though the produce is still lacking. Sometimes, I have to go to Central Market for organic tomatoes. Before the whole job thing, I practiced shopped and price compared... now I don't bother with bulk so that eliminates the Sam's trip. And, I can usually get enough organic at HEB to eliminate the Central Market trip.

I will have to post my "Christmas Grocery Store Tale" on my blog. Our neighborhood grocery store has to appeal to the surrounding affluent neighborhoods... you will not believe this crap, oh I'm sorry... shopping experience.

Tyson said...

Michael wins for best blog comment ever. We miss you, man.

Tammy said...

"Fresh-ground honey-roasted-peanut butter (AKA Crack on Toast)".

Also Crack on English Muffins, Bananas, Crackers (all varieties), and my personal favorite, STRAIGHT OFF THE SPOON, RIGHT OUT OF THE JAR, WHILE STANDING IN THE KITCHEN IN YOUR PAJAMAS AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING.