Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Mysterious White Substance Falls on Henderson Neighborhood

An unidentified cold white flaky material was discovered coating surfaces throughout the Downtown area, sources reported Tuesday.

The anomaly was first discovered at 3:45 a.m. local time when an area resident was goaded from sleep to stand outside shivering in PJs and socks.

"Wow, this is the weirdest thing I've ever seen," she said sleepily as the white tufty thingies floated gently from the sky. "This is just too crazy."

When asked to identify the material, most residents were at a loss. "I feel like I should know what it's called....lemme think for a second," said another Burton Street homeowner. "Angel Dust? Isn't that what the kids are calling it these days? No, wait--dang."

Other witnesses were similarly confused. "Doesn't this sort of thing happen a lot back East? It's got something to do with organized crime, right? Drug-running and stuff?"

Local DEA agents were on the scene by 6 a.m. to analyze the substance. "It doesn't seem to have any psychotropic qualities, so far as we can tell," said one officer. "Preliminary findings also suggest that the substance's shelf life is practically zilch, making it a poor choice for distribution."

Whatever the composition of the unidentified medium, it vanished as suddenly as it arrived, leaving only small patches scattered on a small number of front lawns by 10 a.m. Tuesday.

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