Sunday, January 14, 2007

I could do that...if I wanted to

So Tyson and I got into this big discussion the other night about how we might not be living up to all our potential. Seems we spend most of our time wasting it--playing on the computer, watching TV and movies, reading in the bathtub, driving too far to get to work, and as a result all the grand plans we had for ourselves and our lives are not really getting anywhere.

An example: people who know me also know that I have been going to the gym somewhat regularly for five years now, and have yet to show any real progress. Sure, there's a pair of size 10 pants in a dresser drawer that I wore for, like, a week before they didn't fit anymore, but in terms of real results, even the invisible kind like being able to run a mile or bench-press more than I could a year ago, there's nothing. Nada.

Every few weeks (or months), I tell myself I am going to make some changes and become more active, friendly, artistic, creative, domestic, or whatever the adjective of the week is, but things sort of fizzle in the transition between my brain and the actual real world. So when I see someone doing something really productive with their time, I get sort of jealous because apparently other people sometimes stop making excuses and actually make a consistent pattern of doing things, and this makes them better people. Funny how that works out.

I had this whole post ready for January first about my New Year's Resolutions that I decided not to post because it would just be too dumb. It would probably be just another time I pretend I am going to change something and just sort of don't, then "forget" that I decided to do it in the first place. I am still not going to post it, but I will say that they pretty much revolve around becoming the person I really want to be, not just sitting around thinking about how nice it would be to be more active, friendly, etc, etc.

This post wasn't supposed to be that serious. I'm not really sure how that happened, exactly, when I just wanted to share something dorky and made of sugar, two of my favorite ways for things to be.


deidre said...

Listen: you're not alone. I do the same thing all the time. All. The. Time. And while a tendency to laziness might be genetic, I don't think we're the only two people in the world who behave this way. I have decided in the last few months that I'm tired of feeling like I'm alone in this and other habits that make me feel lazy and unsatisfied. And since then, I've been surprised at how many people can relate. So, it's funny I guess that your post is timely.

Anyway, my point is that I do the same thing, except I don't even bother to aspire to do things I know I don't want to do anymore. I have a hard enough time aspiring to do things I was pretty sure I did like (I mean, other than watching TV and cooking). I do this with the flute, which is awful, because I apparently enjoy the flute, or else I would have stopped by now, and still every semester, I foolishly think to myself, "I'm going to practice like eight hours a day, every day, starting tomorrow! Watch me! Yeah!" And so.

Anyway, I discovered over Christmas break that this (and other stuff) was bothering me so much that I'm taking the semester off. I'm on a mission to figure out why I act like that.

So. That's that.

Deidre said...

Thank you so much for offering to let me stay with you this semester! I really, really appreciate the offer, and I am really tempted! It would be nice to get away from Rochester, and of course I'd love to be around you and Tyson. But I probably would stop playing the flute altogether, which wouldn't be good. I'm going to stay in Rochester so I can take lessons and play with my quintet and perform in nursing homes and stuff. But I definitely would love to come out and visit sometime, and of course you and Tyson would be more than welcome to come and visit me anytime!