I have the hiccups, and I can't make them stop!
I tried holding my breath, taking big gulps of water, and even trying to drink from the opposite side of a glass.
I get them when I eat too fast, and they usually go away pretty quickly, but I've been hiccuping for 30 minutes now, and it just isn't fun anymore.
In my second semester at Tech, I had four 80-minute classes in a row with ten-minute breaks in between. I was experimenting with quitting smoking at the time, so I usually brought an apple or a sandwich to try to curb my oral fixation between classes. Because the break was so short, I always scarfed my snack as quick as I could, and I got hiccups about once a week as a result. The worst was when I got the hiccups right before my German class because there were only four other students and you could always hear me right in the middle of something--HIC!--especially when someone was reading or I was called on to do a translation.
Our neurotic cat, Clam, gets the hiccups from time to time, and they always confuse her. Her whole body jerks, then she looks around for the culprit, ears flattened, tail thumping. About the time she relaxes, she hiccups again. It is one of the funnier mind games I play with my cat.
Hooray! In the time it took to write this, my hiccups stopped! I guess getting my mind off my spasming diaphragm was all I needed.