- I get the dishes washed right after I get them dirty, or I can just rinse off the ones from earlier. Hell, they're my germs anyway.
- I can wear the same clothes three days in a row and nobody notices.
- Less laundry to wash (in conjunction with #2).
- I can leave clean laundry on the other side of the bed when I go to sleep.
- Pity points with friends. Free lunches and movies and stuff.
- I can leave the TV on all day, tuned to whatever I want, and I don't have to be watching it to keep "driving privileges."
- I can play on two computers at once.
- I'm forced to figure out how to do some things on my own, like hook up computer stuff and replace car headlamps.
- I'm not hampering anybody's schedule if I go to bed at 8:30, take 3-hour naps, or wake up at 6.
- I can vacuum at 6 a.m. and not wake anybody up.
- When I IM Tyson in the morning, it's already, like, 5 or 6 p.m. there, so I can see whether the day is going to go okay or not.
- I can keep the bedroom as cold as I want at night.
- I get to pick which side of the bed to sleep on--as long as there's no laundry sitting there (just in case my side gets too cold).
- I can watch tv and practice guitar at the same time. (See #6)
- I finally solved the mystery of who doesn't rinse their cereal bowls. (hint: It isn't me!)
That's not to say there aren't many, many things I miss, but being sappy is just so trite. Some of the less-smarmy things I'm sorry to be doing without are:
- punches in the butt
- punches in the porcupine
- a lap to lay across on our God-awfully uncomfortable couch
- sex
6 comments:
Um, when you say "punches in the porcupine", you ARE referring to your tattoo...right?
I'm glad tammy asked first. A punch is a punch right? and a porcupine is a porcupine right? Ouch.
Sorry, curiosity always gets the better of me - what do you mean by "punches in the porcupine?"
Sorry, that seems to have been confusing for all the non-Tyson people out there. The porcupine is a tattoo of a porcupine on my left arm. Tyson gives it a punch in the face now and then. We joke that it hides the bruises.
Don't call WPS, really, nobody gets hurt but the porcupine.
Does the porcupine have a name?
Percival. Percival the Porcupine. (If you saw him, you'd get it. He's kind of effeminate-looking, for a tattoo representation of a porcupine.)
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